Earth Angel (Angels and Seers: Book One) Page 20

Chapter 20

  Alone with Sam in our room again after the most unusual day yet in London, Vermont, I mull over how our private time is still the most awkward part of any day. At the same time, in a bizarre way, it’s also the one I look forward to the most. We rarely talk in depth at these times, and I do miss the first few days we knew each other when we talked openly about everything. But now, it’s like there’s something between us that I can’t quite describe. I know he feels it, too, even though he doesn’t say so. It’s there, in the looks I catch him giving me out of the corner of my eyes when he thinks I’m not watching. Maybe it was the delirium from his injuries when we first met that made him so open and talkative, and his real nature is the stoicism he’s been presenting to me since he healed. Apart from his lack of conversation of any depth, though, he’s still the same Sam, with the same honor, nobility, and inherent sweetness, and that’s good enough for me.

  Regardless of whether he’s talkative or silent, there’s still something so deep and kind, strong and protective about him, I can’t help but be drawn to him. Any woman would. I find I I want to be around him all the time, and miss him when I’m not, even if it’s just for a few hours at dinner when we separate into our different groups. Being with him feels good. I still love Harry, I truly do, but I can’t deny how Sam makes me feel. Not only does being with him feel good, it feels right. Whether it’s the work of the archangels or something even more cosmic in nature, I know wherever Sam is, that’s where I’m supposed to be, too.

  Make no mistake, I don’t feel like I should be with any male in a romantic way except Harry. Yet the undeniable attraction between me and Sam is making me question even that notion. In fact, I’ve been questioning it a lot. Harry gave me my freedom. Should I give it to myself, too?

  We don’t bother hiding from each other when we change into our bed clothes. I do turn my back when I take off my shirt to put on my pajama top, but that’s about it. Sam slips out of his training clothes, exposing a miraculously chiseled abdomen that is remarkably free of any chest hair. Every inch of perfect, lightly tanned, slightly glowing skin is silky smooth and taut, as if it were poured over his well-formed muscles.

  He turns away, too, as he slips out of his white human boxers and into a clean, satiny black pair. He complained at first about them being restrictive, and I didn’t dare ask what they were restricting. I knew what he would say, and I just couldn’t bear to hear him say it. Now, he seems to enjoy wearing them, and maybe even gets a kick out of putting them on in front of me. I still have no idea what angel genitalia look like, but I know his rear very well at this point. It is just like a human’s, only much more well-defined, muscular, smooth, and rounded. His ass looks like you could literally bounce a quarter off of it. I would love to give it a test to find out. I’m pretty sure he could crack nuts open with it if presented with the task.

  Seeing his buttocks every night while he changes is now one of the best parts of my day. I’m not kidding. I want to take a picture of it, blow it up to huge proportions, frame it, and hang it on the wall above my bed here at Linda’s house. I’m sure it would inspire absolutely amazing dreams. At the very least, it would provide some extra motivation in the mornings, knowing I was training to fight to protect that wonder of nature.

  He turns back toward me as he adjusts the elastic band on his boxers, and I move my eyes to the right, toward the window, pretending I wasn’t looking. I know he knows I was, but as we’re still keeping up pretenses with each other, I may as well go through the motions.

  “You did wonderfully today,” he says, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Your natural skills are coming out beautifully, just like I knew they would. You’ll just keep getting better from here.”

  “Thank you,” I say, meaning it. “I don’t know how long it would have taken me to get there on my own.”

  “If we’d had more time to explore it naturally, that would have been ideal. I just want you to be really clear it wasn’t anything I did that caused you to have those abilities. They’re not something I can bestow. Your powers were already there, hiding within you from your birth. I just unlocked them for you.”

  “I know.”

  I do know. The powers and abilities I’m feeling are as natural as can be, and I know they are a part of me, coded into my DNA. It actually feels weird to think that there was a time when I didn’t know they were there.

  “We’re sending Jacob and some of the angels from Ella’s regiment out tomorrow to find new recruits,” he says, jumping right into the topic at hand. “They are going to approach all of the remaining Earth Angels who haven’t been contacted yet, as well as the Nature Angels in other parts of the world, the angels who protect the other planets in this solar system who haven’t joined Jonathan’s army, the rest of the Planet Angels in this galaxy, and the Galaxy Angels themselves. We’ll also be recruiting select Elemental and Messenger Angels, though we won’t be able to get all of them. Their jobs require constant attention, more so than the other castes, so we have to leave most of them to do their work. Going out into space is the most important thing. We’ve got to expand our efforts beyond just this planet if we’re going to have a chance against Jonathan.”

  It made sense. While Earth was Jonathan’s first target, he expected it to be an easy win, and would move out to the other inhabited planets in the galaxy, and then the universe soon enough if given the opportunity.

  “What about the humans?” I ask, knowing we need more seer recruits, as well.

  “We have two angels from Ella’s group who will be approaching seer families in South American and Australia, since there are more in those places who remember the full extent of their heritage than in other places on the planet. After we’ve recruited from those families, we’ll start approaching the known families in the other parts of the world. Then, we’ll look for seers who may not even know what they are. Linda says there’s a spell for finding seers, and we’ll use it when we get to that point.”

  I’m perfectly okay with leaving the recruiting efforts to Sam and the more experienced seers. They have the connections I lack. My role needs to be solely working on developing my abilities so I can be the leader the archangels declared me to be. Sam seems to know this, too, as he’s never asked me to help with recruiting (or anything else), and I’ve never told him I wanted to be involved in it. There are plenty of others here who can do it much better than me.

  “Our recruiting committee will bring people back here as they get them on board. We’re also going to cloak the town tomorrow, before breakfast. Well, John, Linda, and the Council of Elders are going to. They’re the ones with access to the appropriate magic.”

  “That’s good. We probably should have done it when they cloaked us.”

  “True, but I’m glad we didn’t,” Sam admits. “If we’d done it then, Ella and her group wouldn’t have been able to find us, and they’d be wandering around out there, vulnerable to Jonathan and his army. At least they were able to get away and get to us safely. Thank God.” He raises his eyes to heaven, as if in silent prayer.

  Angels don’t talk a lot about God. Most of them are just as in the dark about God’s true nature as the rest of us. They know He exists, and that’s about all. Angels may know a little bit more about their part in the grand scheme of things in the universe than most other sentient beings, but even so, they still have plenty of questions about the meaning of their existence, just like anyone else. Their part in the setup of the universe is as natural and mysterious to them as our own. So, seeing Sam look like he is praying is an unusual thing, not just for him, but for any angel. He’s said before that most angels, except for a few very faithful ones, don’t even know if God listens to their prayers, which, again, is similar to humans. But, at least he’s trying. It can’t hurt, and it might help.

  “Thank God,” I agree.

  We sit, staring at each other for a moment in an uncomfortable silence. There it is again. That impression he gives that he wants to say something
more, but doesn’t. It’s more than a little frustrating.

  Sam’s hands are trembling slightly, though he tries to hide it by clasping them together. He’s thinking about what could have happened to Ella. I know him well enough by now to read some of his body language, though a lot of it remains a mystery to me.

  Without letting myself think about it, I get up and go over to his bed, sitting beside him as he did for me last night. I take his hands in mine and steady them, looking up into his face. His eyes are clouded with a million concerns. I want to take them all away.

  “Sam,” I say, my voice sounding to me like it’s coming from a million miles away, almost like it’s not even me. “It’s okay. Ella is okay. She survived. She’s safe. You don’t have to worry about her anymore. She’s here with us, and we’ll protect her.”

  “I lost two of my brothers in that battle,” Sam whispers, locking eyes with me. I see the hint of tears in them, but he won’t let them fall. I’m grateful, since I don’t think I could deal with a weeping angel. I’ve got to take baby steps where my new relationships with the angels are concerned, especially Sam. I’d probably start crying myself, and I hate it. Growing up with two older brothers tends to toughen you up emotionally, or at least makes you feel like you have to be tough to avoid the teasing and torment big brothers tend to rain down on their little sisters.

  I need to be strong for Sam. And I totally forgot he has six brothers. He never talks about them, and the only member of his immediate family I’ve met is Ella. I could slap myself. How could I have forgotten such an important thing? He told me about them when we first met. I’m such an idiot. I should have known at least some of those brothers would be at the moon camp. If they’d made it back here, he or Ella would have already introduced me to them.

  “I’m so sorry, Sam,” I say, meaning it with all my heart. “I should have asked about them. Of course they were with Ella. Almost everyone in your kingdom was there. You know I understand what you’re going through, what with losing my parents and Harry. And I know you must be in a lot of pain right now. Talking helps. Will you tell me about them?”

  Sam gives me a slight, almost imperceptible nod.

  “Their names were Gregory and Lemuel,” he says quietly. “They were my middle two brothers. I’ve got two older and two younger than them. Now, they’re both gone. They were the mischievous ones, Lucy. Always getting into some kind of trouble or other, continually regaling me, Ella, and our other brothers with hilarious and often ribald stories of their adventures. They were born pranksters, and never ready to grow up. It’s why Father wouldn’t give them assignments on Earth without supervision and mainly kept them at home; he was worried they would cause havoc wherever they went if they weren’t carefully monitored by a more mature, conscientious angel at all times. He was right. They were a thorn in my side more than once, but I loved them every bit as much as any of my other siblings, with the exception of Ella, who has always been everyone’s favorite. Gregory and Lemuel were determined to live by their own rules and create new ones wherever they could. They were stupid, immature, and frequently annoying. God, I’m going to miss them!”

  I could see the tears forming again, bigger and more visible this time, sparkling like the purest diamonds.

  “Is there anything I can do?” I put a hand on his shoulder, and lightly stroke his hair with my other one. I really, really want to make him feel better.

  He shakes his head ever so slightly.

  “Where are your other brothers? Are they okay?”

  “The youngest two are here on Earth on long term assignments. Jared will be collecting them to bring here. The older two married into families of angels protecting planets on the other side of this galaxy. I haven’t seen them in centuries. I’m sure we’ll make contact with them eventually as we get word about what we’re doing farther out into space. They will be part of our first line of defense for the rest of the universe.”

  “And your father?” I hate bringing up the subject, since it reminds Sam he no longer has a mother, but the Earth Angel king is still an important player in all this.

  “Still at home, guarding the seat of our kingdom. Jonathan will try to take the throne once he knows Earth belongs to him. In the meantime, Father will continue doing the work of the kingdom on his own, protecting the Earth from space-based threats. He’ll need people to help him eventually, but we can’t spare any right now. Maybe when we have large enough numbers, we’ll send some people back home to take part of the burden off him.”

  I can’t take seeing him so sad. Surely a hug will help let him know I care and that he’s not alone. That wouldn’t be out of line, right? I test it before I can talk myself out of it, throwing my arms around his broad shoulders and holding him to me with as much love as I have to offer, which, for Sam, is clearly endless.

  I’ve touched Sam before, but this time, it’s different. I feel something electric that resonates through my entire being, down to the atomic level. It’s like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together, and it stuns me. I know Sam says soul mates are among the rarest things in the universe, but I swear we may be among them. What else could cause that kind of feeling of completion? It’s like the curtains in my mind have been pulled back and I can finally receive the message all of time and space is broadcasting it to me…that it’s Sam, not Harry, I’m supposed to be with, and always have been. My soul practically cries out to me that it’s been looking for Sam since the beginning of time. The revelation stuns me, and I go still with the enormity of it for a moment.

  Sam doesn’t seem to notice.

  Instead, he wraps his arms around my waist and holds on tightly. I’m both surprised and delighted at his response. In fact, he buries his face in my shoulder and inhales deeply of my hair. I’m thrilled, and thankful that I took a shower after dinner so I’m all squeaky clean and hopefully smelling good.

  After a while, but much too soon as far as I’m concerned, we both mutually draw back, just a little, our arms still on each other, but with a small space between us. Sam looks into my eyes with a heavy lidded gaze that I know all too well from dating human men, but have never seen on an angel. It’s even more intense than on humans, and is the look I’ve been waiting for all this time without realizing it. I return it with one of my own.

  Slowly, we lean toward each other and our lips touch. It’s very light at first, but it sends shivers through my whole body. This is where my lips were always meant to be, from the moment I was born. I don’t know how I know it, but I just do. They just fit, in a way they never did with Harry.

  I thought Harry was the one. I was sure of it. But he never was, even without the interference of the archangels. We might have had a happy life together, but it wouldn’t have been entirely satisfying. I realize I would have always known, in the back of my mind, something was missing. The truth is revealed to me at last. This is where I am meant to be, by Sam’s side, always. An attachment releases in my heart, and then I’m not married to Harry anymore.

  I can feel my soul reaching out for Sam’s, like it’s wanting to touch the other half of itself it’s been missing for so long it. Are we soul mates? Is this longing an indication that we are one of those most elusive and exquisite of pairings? It sure feels like it.

  The kiss intensifies, and soon we are grinding our lips together so hard I think mine might get bruised. I don’t care. I just want to be as close to Sam as possible. Our hands are in each other’s hair, pulling, twisting, and tangling, bringing us closer together and then farther apart over and over again as our lips seek to meld into one whole piece of flesh.

  Then, his mouth is opening, and I respond in kind with no prompting. His tongue is in my mouth and mine in his, probing, licking, running along each other’s teeth, tasting every inch of the inside of each other’s mouths. We open wider in unison, and our kissing intensifies some more, like we are trying to swallow each other whole. There isn’t an inch of flesh on our mouths and tongues that hasn’t been touched b
y the other of us. I’ve never kissed this way. It’s more than kissing. It’s reuniting bodies and souls that were always meant to be one.

  The satin pajama tops I’m wearing suddenly feel like too much of a barrier between my skin and the bare skin of his chest that’s pressed up against mine. I run my hands down his smooth back, lightly scraping his silken skin with my fingernails, then move back up again with my fingertips. There is absolutely no resistance, as if I really am touching a piece of finely woven silk, or the surface of a deep, still pool of water. His hands run down the lengths of my ribcage on each side and start to make their way up underneath my pajama tops, just as I’m moving my own hands down to rip off the buttons and toss the interfering thing aside.

  I’m absolutely convinced what we’re about to do is something we’ve both been waiting on for centuries.

  Then, suddenly, he stops, and pushes me away, holding me by the shoulders at arm’s length. The move is so swift and unexpected that I keep making kissing motions with my mouth for a moment before I realize my lips are no longer touching his.

  “Hmm…ah…what?” I mumble dazedly. I pull my head back to look at him, still a bit crazed from the intensity of everything. Why aren’t we kissing anymore?

  “I can’t do this, Lucy,” he whispers to me fiercely, though his eyes say otherwise. He grips my shoulders a little bit more tightly, and I come back to reality, aching to have him kissing me again, and more.

  “Why not?” I’m totally confused. He was just as into it as I was. His feelings couldn’t have been clearer. He returned my passion with an equal, and perhaps greater measure. Is there some rule about no sex before marriage for his kind? There could be. It’s not like we ever talked about it. Now would be a good time to start.

  “You’re still in love with Harry,” he grits out through clenched teeth, quietly, but with an intensity that says it’s taking every inch of willpower he possesses to not finish what we started.

  Harry? Oh. Harry. In the passion of the moment, I’m embarrassed to admit I actually forgot he existed, once the bonds of our symbolic marriage released. Now, forced to think about him again, I know my feelings for Harry are nothing more than fond friendship now. Sam has no way of knowing it, of course. He can’t read my mind (at least, I don’t think he can).

  If you’d asked me if I was still in love with Harry a week ago, or even earlier today, I would have said yes without hesitation. Now, I’m keenly aware I never knew what being in love really was until I met Sam. Harry’s presence in my life is a distant and fading memory in the face of the sheer power within my love for Sam. It seems like it’s been ages since I sat in front of Harry’s headstone, arguing with Aaron on my would-be wedding day, though it’s only been a few weeks. So much has happened since then, and I’m a changed person in so many ways. The only thing that seems sure and clear anymore is Sam being the one. My true one. It may be a brand new revelation, but now nothing in the universe makes as much sense to me as the two of us being together.

  I need to let him know, and discover if he feels the same way.

  Closing my eyes, I look deeply within myself, knowing my next words could change my life, and probably all my future lives, forever.